no one plan to mess up their life :)

i'm getting older day by day. this coming september i'll be turning 22 years old. time flies so fast and make me believe reality is real. my cousin (younger 1 year than me) will getting married this coming november and i must be prepare when others come and whisper at my ear "ika bila lagi nak kawen?" =,="

actually i love when they ask me like that because they make me want to smile over and over again. i mean, they know i don't have a beautiful nice great smile. ok. i'm joking. i don't like when the question come out from their mouth.

past three days ago i had a conversation with my granny and mom. i know they may be want to joke around but its fine for me. i know they really love me =')

granny : ika bila lagi nak kawen?

me : tak mau aa kawen.

granny : awat tak mau kawen?

me : nak belajaq sampai dapat master. then keja, beli rumah kereta pa suma.

granny : ka takot nak kawen?

me : aaa??

mom : takut bercerai ha?

me : terdiam-terkedu-tak terkata

might divorce? may be that is one of the reason i'm afraid of marriage. but i trust my self. i mean i know i can be independent person. as long i have everything besides me, i know i can survive. i plan everything for my self. after finish study i want to work for 5 or 6 years then if i have opportunity to further my study in master, i want to fly to UK. that's what i have plan for my self for now :)

i've told before this marriage is the last thing in my list. frankly speaking, i'm afraid of man. i'm afraid to have a serious relationship. i'm afraid to get married. i'm afraid to know the ending of my love story.that's the weaknesses of me. i'm not the confident person when its come to love. pathetic me =,="

mom&dad, i'm sorry, i don't plan any kind of marriage world until i reach age 28,perhaps ^____^ (although now i keep on dreaming to get married with one of my favourite korean singer/band/actor =P). i know both of you understand me enough :)

there one thing you must hide from your future ;

the past :)

CN BLUE ; Lie

SS501 ; Forever (Destination)

*its comfort my ears right now :)*